Thursday, September 4, 2008

Confessions of a Housewife

Ok, so I admit it . . . I am one of "those." Well that's what Ben calls me once in a while. Mostly when I pull my stunts. Its like if I get an idea in my head of something I want to do (mostly home improvement related) I just have to do it, right then, without really thinking it out. I have many of these, here's just but two:

1) Ok, so picture me 39 1/2 weeks pregnant. I was huge. At home alone for 2 weeks, I got so bored and sooo ready, I thought I could induce labor by building a retaining wall in our back yard. I only had the strength to carry one small brick at a time, so that's what I did for (ehem) 5 hours in the rain on a cool May morning. Now looking back I wish I could have looked down from the heavens, I would have thought I was nuts. So I don't know a thing about retaining walls. I didn't know the ground had to be level so the bricks would stack flat . . . so of course they didn't. I didn't know you were suppose to use bricks specifically for retaining walls so they didn't just fall over . . . like they did. I called Ben and told him what I had done. He immediately came home for lunch and laughed his belly sick. When he got home later that day, we had carry each brick back to its original pile next to the side of the house.

I will say this: I finally got Ben to build the retaining walls I had wanted for 2 years that following Saturday. This is the trend and pattern in our family. I attempt it, Ben cleans up the mess I make. But then it finally gets done.

2) In our new house, there is a blighted area in our back yard where no grass grows. One day I decided to put all the seats down in my car (including the front passenger seat) and go to Home Depot and buy sod. So I didn't really know how much to buy . . . so I tell the girl "Give me 20 squares of sod." You should have seen the look on the boy's face who had to bring it out to my vibe, and the look on my face when I saw how much sod I had bought. We filled my car, from seat to ceiling, including the front seat. There was my little round face poking through massive tons of sod. Luckily we live close to the Home Depot, because I was bottomed out and had to drive 10 mph the whole way. This is the best part. I borrowed my neighbors plastic wheelbarrel (why in the heck would anyone buy a plastic one???) And I filled it up with 5 squares of rolled up sod, and I honestly thought I could lift it. To my horror, my neighbor was across the street watching me as I lifted the back end and the wheelbarrel tipped over on its side, I fell down in what should have been filmed as a stunt video and all the squares went unravelling down the driveway. I pulled myself together, got up, wiped off the dirt and blood, and put one rolled up square in the wheelbarrel, and headed to the backyard. After about 9 trips, I called Ben crying that he needed to come home immediately to help me unload the sod. Each square weighs like 60-70 lbs! He came home, and I actually managed to lay most of it myself through the afternoon. Now its the only patch that grows! And who knew a little Pontiac Vibe could be converted into a small pickup truck!

Its kind of weird, its like I build self confidance/esteem/exploration if I try things i would normally leave to Ben, despite the fiascos/successes they produce.


Mike and Shelby said...

Gaby, you are so funny! (And KUDOS to Ben for being such a sport about it!!!) I am shocked that each piece of sod weighs that much. Our lawn is absolutely embarressing! Mike cut it too short early on this summer (and then didn't water it for four days) Totally KILLED it! Now its barely on the mend with some very visible dead spots where weeds have taken over.

I have to admit, I am one of THOSE too. Last winter, I decided to do a little furniture rearranging in our house. I actually moved our basement couch UPSTAIRS...the one that originally took three guys to move DOWN the stairs when we moved in. Mike just shook his head when he found out.

...and for your retaining wall, just blame it on 'nesting' :)

AngiDe- Nana's Box said...

You are one tough mama! I wouldn't even know which department in Home Depot to buy sod ;)

Kendal and Kendra said...

I really am laughing out loud! I can just picture you in your car with all that sod! I am the same way with project! Let me know if there are any that ARE labor inducing! haha!

Hillary said...

Hi Gabby, I saw you on Shelby's blog and thought I would stop by. I hope you don't mind.

You are so amazing, and lucky to have a husband that will clean up after you. I was looking at the sod at Home Depot myself this spring, but I was not willing to take that project on myself. So I just went home and worked in my garden instead.

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh what an hysterical post! I died laughing. Gaby, you are the greatest! You ARE one of THOSE! Power on sweetheart! Hi to the guys! Lots of love, Nat

aShLee said...

Hey Gaby! Amber just sent me her blog address and I saw yours on here. Hope everything is going well! Keep in touch :)